It’s been a nightly ritual for me to prepare my day right before bed. I’m a planner. Over the last few years, I’ve learned that I’m easily overstimulated—mostly because of motherhood and the constant motion that comes with it. I’m four years into being a mom, but it feels like it’s been forty. Sometimes it feels like my nervous system aged faster than the rest of me.
Before I go to sleep, I list out my appointments and to-do lists—personal life, work, everything in between. I need a visual of how my day will unfold, from the moment I wake up to the moment Liam goes to sleep. Once it’s all mapped out, I set my alarm for 5:00 a.m., lay my head down, and I’m out in about 2.5 seconds.
Lying in bed without anyone needing you—soaking in the silence, embracing the stillness of the house—is maybe one of the most amazing experiences as a mom. It’s sacred.
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Conversation #1: Just Five More Minutes…
All of a sudden, it’s 5:00 a.m. It feels like I went to bed an hour ago. That’s when the battle of now or later begins in my head. Why leave my bed when I could hit snooze and get ten more minutes of sleep in my warm, lusciously comfortable nest? My body has already made its imprint in the mattress, my sheets and thick green comforter swaddling me like a baby.
A soft voice whispers, Just stay for a while. It’s safe here.
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Conversation #2: The Voice of Reason
The other voice sounds like my mom, yelling in her Filipino accent: Get up! You’re going to be late to your “me time.” If I don’t get up now, I’ll rush through my Bible study, then rush through my workout—and we all know how that ends.
It’s sharp, nagging, and annoyingly honest. She’s right, though. Every day is chaotic. Even when it’s not chaotic, it’s chaotic. Somewhere along the way, my mom’s voice became the voice of reason in my head.
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Conversation #3: Dear Lord. I Pray for Sleep.
Sometimes, a wrench gets thrown into the plan. Liam is the wrench. His sleep issues are the problem. All the melatonin and magnesium glycinate in the world still haven’t solved that.
So I go to the source. God.
Every night and every morning, I say the same prayer: Thank you for my family. Thank you for our home. Thank you for our bed. Thank you for sleep. Lord, please let Liam sleep through the night and wake up at 7:00 a.m. I will even accept 7:01.
God and I have a mutual understanding. When Liam wakes up early, it’s a lesson in resilience and learning how to pivot.
I still don’t like it.
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Conversation #4: My Subconscious
My mornings are a mix of biblical wisdom and endorphins. If Liam wakes up, I roll with it by handing him his tablet. I feel guilty about screen time—but I also live in reality.
One night, we bonded as a family by sitting on the couch, each of us watching something different on our own devices. Dad on his iPad. Liam on his. Me on the big screen, searching for something that could hold my attention for more than five minutes.
That’s when I realized: we’re screen people. And I’m okay with this life.
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Conversation #5: How My Mind Operates
Every morning, my mind has a conversation with itself while my body listens in. It’s repetitive, familiar. While the debate plays out, my thoughts wander—cycling through whatever is living on loop in my head.
It’s a good way to wake up. A good way to reflect. Unless my brain decides to resurface something embarrassing from 1998.
As I lie still for one more moment, my body catches up. My legs stretch. My arms reach in the opposite direction. I yawn and give myself one last contemplative thought before moving toward the quiet.
Nothing has happened, but everything soon will.
More Than Shower Thoughts 
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